Natural Hair Journey: Learning To Embrace Your’e Journey & Length

In the 5 years that I have been natural, I have become incredibly proud of my natural hair journey. Even with all of the ups and downs, I have still managed to rediscover myself.  Throughout my journey of rediscovery, I have grown to appreciate my beautiful hair texture.  Which in return, has taught me to embrace the unique gifts that I possess as a black woman.

Before I went completely natural, I was definitely NOT taking proper care of my hair. Intuitively, I knew that my hair was not healthy. I did not have a solid conditioning regimen, dreaded getting trims, and ignored signs of breakage and dryness. I know, I know, I was a hot mess!  Because as much as I talked about believing in my intuition and its signs I knew I needed a change.  If I ever wanted to achieve healthy hair from the root, I would have to start from scratch.  


That’s right. The Big Chop!


I was so proud of the leap that I had taken. I had listened to my gut and had shown myself enough self-love to take charge of how I had neglected my hair, and was excited for the journey ahead. But as my hair grew and I encountered difficulties in styling and some awkward hair lengths, my confidence began to suffer. Our hair is such a large part of our identities and how we perceive ourselves.  So when I wasn’t confident in my hair style, I didn’t feel secure in myself.


After years of feeling this way, I decided that I had to take action.  So below are some of the lessons that I have learned. That have not only allowed me to work with my hair, but has also  contributed to the love that I have for it.


First and foremost…


Stop Comparing!


I blame Youtube tutorials and Google images for this one! With natural hair love being a trending topic in the last few years, we’ve been exposed to images of all types of beautifully coarse textures. When I was feeling insecure about my texture, I found myself imitating styles and becoming frustrated when they didn’t end up exactly how I expected. Even when the vlogger had a completely different hair texture than mine. I even found out that some of the images I had searched for of twistouts and braidouts were wigs and sew-ins. Nothing is how is seems so I believe it is best to feel blessed with your natural texture, density, color, and style, and to work with what you’ve got. No one is as unique as you!



Love Your Length


It is so important to give your curls time to grow! Obsessing about your hair length can take a hit at your confidence, especially if you’re comparing yours to others like I have. Patience and healthy maintenance will allow your hair to thrive much better than worrying about every inch. However, I do document a few length checks a year, just to make sure my hair is growing at a normal rate. It has actually helped me discover when certain products, methods, and styles have actually hurt instead of helping my hair in the past. Remember that your hair will grow, just stay patient!


Use Products That Work For YOU


While embracing natural hair has become so popular, many products have come on the market. And it wasn’t before long that the “best” ones were determined.  Although some of the most popular brands are great and inexpensive such as the Shea Moisture line, not all of them work well on everyone. I’ve tried almost every gel, butter, and cream available and with time, observed how my hair responded to them. If a month passed and my hair experienced any signs of major breakage and/or dryness, I moved on. Even though these products all claim to benefit natural hair, they don’t all work the same way for everyone.  So it is important to figure out how your particular strands react.

Natural oils and butters like coconut oil, and raw shea butter and water have had the most beneficial effect on my hair makng styling a breeze.  So keep looking, you’ll find something that your hair will love and your effort will be all worth it!



Keep It Healthy!


This seems so basic, but often times are the most common reasons why we struggle with length retention. Over the years, I’ve realized that regular trims, less strand manipulation, attention to moisture retention, and protective styles have been my holy grail for healthy, resilient, and strong hair. Hair that has gracefully withstood multiple color treatments, braids, twists, harsh winters and drying summers. I use to ignore when I KNEW I needed a trim, because I was so protective of my length. But what is length if your hair is so obviously unhealthy and lacking in moisture and shine? Protecting your hair from over-manipulation such as heat styling too often, daily combing (especially combing through dry hair), and frequent and long-term protective styling will keep you from experiencing unnecessary breakage, less volume and bounce, and heat and follicle damage. 


My favorite summer/fall protective style- lightweight Senegalese Twists!


Listen To Your Hair

I believe that self-love is listening and responding to your needs and that includes your hair!  Keep a close watch on how your hair responds to different products, techniques, and styles and discover what works well for your specific hair type. Maybe the latest hair trend may not be right for your hair’s charactertistics. Don’t rely on the claims of advertisements, reviews or even tutorials. Do the research yourself!

I’ve come to appreciate every single curl and coil in my unique blend of textures. I still watch style tutorials and Google trends, but I make them my own. Instead of trying to make the style look like the picture, I use it as inspiration, not imitation. Which in the long run has resulted in better styles that now look much more natural and true to me and my personal style.

So if you’re struggling with your natural hair tranisition and journey, I hope my experiences will help you feel more confident and accepting of your’e own curls. There is nothing that demonstrates self-love more than loving your natural self! Like and share your own journey. I’d love to hear about it!


Having issues with dry, natural hair? Read about my fool-proof ways to retain moisture!

Also, check out my new podcast on iTunes, and follow me on Instagram and Pinterest!

Feel free to comment, share and subscribe.


Peace & Love



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3 Comments on "Natural Hair Journey: Learning To Embrace Your’e Journey & Length"

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The Melanated Maven

Thanks Brooke for letting me guest post on your awesome blog! 😊

Kanicia Cognard

Nice post! I’ve been natural almost seven years and it is definitely a journey. Now that I live abroad I’ve really had to learn how to let my hair do what it likes because I don’t have access to all the products that can manipulate it;)

The Melanated Maven

Thank you! It is definitely trial & error, being a product junkie until something works, and trusting in yourself. You’ll find something that works, just give it time! 😊